Mr. Blue Sky

WATCH MR. BLUE SKY What a difference a day makes eh? After the storm in a teacup with paper doilies and powder puffs at dawn we have a beautiful blue sky day. All we need now is the snow for purity (no not that sort) and to bring Carmarthenshire to a close. the skis and brandy flask have been in the attic for some time but having seen suchi I am inspired to get on the piste again. I have a pass for all the slopes of Ponty Pandy so let it snow. So what happens now? Do they all kiss and make up or will they be at it again no sooner than the bullshi** has been shovelled of the floor of the main chamber. I guess they could always spread it on that rugby pitch at Pontyberem they featured in It's A Wonderful Life. It seems that the message from SuperJono is that the voters (YES US) will make their true feelings known at the ballot box in the next elections. I very much doubt that the apathy that has persisted for so many years will change. My guess is that you could put a monkey up for election in every Labour ward and the monkey would be voted in (WHAT, They Have Been!). Well the shark pool is very small so we were told. I am looking forward to seeing the write ups in local press, which will undoubtedly ignore all the relevant questions, which should have been put to Dame Edna and her followers.

GLOBAL VIEWING

Well Mam Fach and Maernifarny, we have a global audience. Must all be wrestling fans. Even our comrades in Ukraine are tuning in but I fear they will be seeing a lot of what they have fought and died for absent in Carmarthenshire. No we do not have the same wonderful way of dealing with thing as they. When their man refused to listen and resign they stood shoulder to shoulder out on the streets in the full view of the vermin snipers that gunned them down. They defended themselves with bricks and stones and meagre shelters. The man who surrounded himself with luxury a high salary and unknown amounts of perks was finally ousted and ran like the rat he is. As our comrades in Ukraine read and view this blog I hope they understand that once, this nation and its people were great and fought against dictators and despots. Perhaps the Welsh will now rekindle that fight and take a stand like the brave people of the Ukraine.

Plaid Cymru V Labour

All the action from today's bash at County Hall. Watch the action here Seconds Out, Round 1! Plaid are in the green trunks (what do you expect).

The NEW Executive Board

They get my vote and my Nan's

SMALL POOL

It seems that we are all as thick as sh** in Carmarthenshire despite the county being home to some of the world's leading lights in many fields. NO! According to a number of councillors speaking today there is only a small pool of people to choose from to earn £200,000 a year plus whatever other cash one can get on the side. The claim was muttered and repeatedly muttered today in a full council meeting and appeared to be the justification for giving as much cash as was legally or in some instances otherwise available to give to anyone who has a posh accent a top job. Meanwhile the peasants of Pontyberem and surrounding villages myself included are shown fetching water for cawl at the local rugby pitch. It was like a scene from Oliver Twist. So it seems that many of the well spoken, articulate, intelligent residents of Pontyberem, Pontyates, Ponthenri and a host of other Camarthenshire villages cannot produce one person to challenge for the job of Chief Executive or any other senior officer's post for that matter. I know my place and so should you. How dare we claim we are intelligent and ask for our wages not to be cut and our playing fields to be saved so that our children can escape shingles. NO! For goodness sake KNOW YOUR PLACE! That is in the WORKHOUSE. Remember to doff your cap next you see the masters.

A Rival Show To A Farce At Jail Hill

The truth is by ere. Now the ratings for A Farce At Jail Hill went through the roof today. Latest figures show the apathetic community of Carmarthenshire topped an all time high of 3 viewing the latest episode. A BAFTA or BFKUTA is in order me thinks. Western Power had to crank up the emergency generators to coincide with the the climax, which was the main speech when almost every resident in Carmarthenshire simultaneously switched on the radio for the Jeremy Vine Show whilst turning down the volume on what appeared to be a drunken man slurring some form of apology about his mates taking bundles of cash from the poor. (This is a TV show I am satirising M'Lord and I make no reference to anyone living or dead)That gets the threat of legal action out of the way. So I resuscitate my wife who by now has collapsed in exhaustion having thrown everything in the kitchen at the screen hoping it would have some voodoo like effect on the gorgons on the screen. It didn't, they just got worse and some rather rude and ignorant bald guy kept giving the villains chances whilst telling the good guys to shut up. So in desperation I flick through the channels and find some programme in Italian talking about some people in Carmarthenshire of all places who like the Farce At Jail Hill are having some sort of problems. Well Mam Fach, it was spooky. Gwyn Toploader (his dad was a washing machine salesman) was badgering these old codgers round the town and down alleyways (cue THE PERSUADERS music). Well, I was riveted it was dead exciting. Flash cars going fast, the arse of some bloke sticking out the back and loads of swigging coffee in posh cafs in CARMARTHEN, who's have banked on that eh? Owain Glyndwr made an appearance talking about crime and punishment but the upshot was that nobody could do nufink and the law sucks. What a week, no a month, no a year it has been. I luvs livin ere in Carmarthenshire. Great Italian programme here Parlo Italiano

BANG TO RIGHTS or not as the case may be.

Just watched the latest episode of A Farce at Jail Hill. A star studded programme with an all star cast. Someone must have switched off the autocue in this episode as not many were able to string a sentence together. There was more than the fair share of dodgy characters in this episode asking the viewers to trust them. Not likely unless you attend the same lodge i'd say. It was fortunate that the likes of John Thaw or Terence McCann were not around or they would all have been thrown over the bonnet of a Cortina and given a working over before being banged to rights. As it was the episode panned out with little more than the crooks pleading that they had made a mistake, onest guv, it was me wot did it but I loves me old mum and me Gran so I can't be that bad can I. Now the viewers didn't buy that and neither did the straight guys and gals but the villains outnumbered the good guys in grand old tradition and swung it their way before heading off to the Ponderosa for a knees up buffet and as much tequila as they could pour down the drawers of Layby Lil. By the end I was exhausted from shouting at the screen. Took me back to the days when my gran would throw buns at Kendo Nagasaki, now there's a nice guy if ever there was. I have to say that I would trust Kendo and Adrian Street or even Giant Haystacks for that matter with my money and my life well before I would trust any of the cast of villains I saw today. Yeeha folks, the Milky Bars are on me.

Pembrokeshire Pirates Outgunned

Avast me hearties and roger the cat for that be his name. If ye thinks it is bad on the isle of Carms don't ye be going West to the Isle o Pembs. A rough lot of cut throats they be for sure. There be talk of brown envelopes bein passed in car parks forcin good pirates to walk the plank. Just as they was all walkin the plank bound for Davy Jones' locker the brown envelopes was passed to the scurvy dogs too. But it seems like the big kahuna has lived to tell another tale. It seems like the people of these ere islands has just given up. No fight left in em. this be the land of the folks what fought off the French too. Is there hope me handsomes? Only the good people of Pembs can answer that. They has a choice. They can storm the place or wait til everything they owns is taken away from em.

Rhodri Glyndwr Triumphant

For the time being Mark James has stepped down, leaving his colleagues to man the ship (you know what they say about sinking ships). Was the delivery of a rat to county hall some strange secret society ritual warning of impending doom? Are we seeing the birth of the new Glyndwr or is this a storm in the West, which will fade when the rozzers have played their part in the theatrical production of The Ditherer of Jail Hill. It is welcome news whatever and of course the public deserve to know the truth. All this could have been avoided if they had done the decent thing in the first place or the more sensible and decent thing of not doing it in the first place if you catch me lifeboat. One thing for sure is that none of the scurvy crew manning the wreck of HM Madge will be holding their hands out for fear of the black spot or as Cneifwr puts it, the brown envelope. I smell MUTINY and more theatre before this storm quells to a light sowesterly. ARRGH and bad eggs. SIGN ERE SHIPMATES

GOD AND THE LABOUR PARTY

It now seems that the only person in Carmarthenshire who has any power is a man called Madge (not God). Despite the fact that the population of Carmarthenshire actually pays his wages (madge) not God, he has decided to stay put with James (not a prohpet) and co possibly in the misguided hope that the storm will blow over. What is extraordinary that the judgements (not by God) of unlawful activity weighed against them appear to be being completely ignored. Can you imagine how rapidly any of us would be dealt with by the law if we were to have done the same. A police investigation is now taking place but the accused for want of a better word are still in the office where the evidence is stored. It seems that if you are in the Labour party anything goes. Neither Westminster nor Cardiff appear to be able to do anything about this other than to utter a few words, which have apparently fallen on deaf ears. My daughter sat and watched some of the webcast of the meeting and looked on in astonishment and asked, 'are they the people who are in charge of the county' I had to say reluctantly, yes. Glossing over the fact that they could not appear to articulate a fluent sentence and the continual dropping of H's it was a spectacle to behold. GOD HELP US PLEASE! But then if he is Labour we are all stuffed.

We Welcome Your Contributions

WELL I NEVER

I knows its Valentines Day soon and we is livin in an age of tolerance innit. I espect they as a table at that posh Scarlets place what was the docks. Used to go spikin for mullet there I did with my Tadcu. Whas Jono smilin about tho? Ooh, I know, he as been voted Mr Febu....Febrewe....Febmix of 2014 by the lovely ladees of PontyPandy what was dissapointed with the stripper lookin like a chicken from that American food chain. Well its gonna be an interestin day tomorro and I will ave my state of teh art Amstrad computer runnin with the webcast on the old valve radio. Couple of shants and a curry and job done. Who is you supportin? 

Carmarthen Stripped Bare and Butt Naked

Well, Mam fach, it's all appening in Carmarthenshire. Unlawfulness at County Hall, whatever next and them good chapel folk too. A stripper bein booed off by the women of PontyPandy. Who needs a script writer? Now I find the beloved Carmarthen Journal as been acked by some kitchen appliance firm. Community News is full of ovens, granite tops and drawers, ooer Mrs, sound like another plot from the Welsh soaps to me it does and I loves it. Good to see a PontyPandy boy doin so well in Pobol y Cwm too it is. My website "Crooks in the Cowsil' site as been busy too with people toutin they wares on ere sellin they pals what plays music they are. Galavantin tommorow I is, back down to Saintly Clears, well I loves a bit of the costa del posh me innit. They as toilet roll in the conveniences there they do, honest. I might stop off at county all to have a nose at proceedins and lob a tomato from the gallery. What a rotten bunch they is and they as the cheek to take our spondoolees, well I never, well I did. Been cold ere in PontyPandy too it as, avin to wear mrs. Dai Farmer's tights. Mind you, I ave a lovely set of legs, even got a whistle from the neighbour today when I was peggin out. Don't worry, I means the clothes like innit. Still life in the old bugger yet. TARA!

COUNCILS MAY HAVE TO ALLOW FILMING

It seems that it may not be long before councils have to allow filming at town halls. There are also hints that the council's FREE papers may be more closely regulated to prevent unfair competition with newspapers and to prevent self interest groups and partisan political campaigning.

The Free publication by CCC tends to advertise specific businesses, which the council have helped financially.  Surely it is our money paying for it so why don't we get the same opportunity? The paper reads like the academy awards of Croneywood. It is hard to find anyone who tells you anything other than the magazine is thrown straight in the bin.

England seem to be leading the way again and no doubt Mr Pickles has had a hand in this. Here we have to settle for slightly less than Mr. Pickles but more of a Mr. Picalilly (never liked the stuff).


Council's May Have to Allow Filming - BUT NOT IN WALES

Pasta or Crepes?

It wasn't all bad eh? The BBC did at least make a tokenistic effort to show the ladies rugby at half time. In Inverdale's absence there was a little less hurrah England during the games but if you listened to commentary of Sport Live AM Radio, yes, the crackly one, you would have heard the bias from the sasanach's and the Scots. Gavin Hastings gave Scotland a right mouthful. I am so glad I stayed in and made a curry. At least we have some flare to look forward to tomorrow. I have pals in Italy and France so I am torn. Depends if we opt for crepes or pasta for lunch to get us in the mood. France usually get my support being an avid Francophille. So we have a long wait now for the next one and I am sure Gats will be calling in that well known singer Plan B as all through the match the commentators said he didn't have Plan B. Not sure what difference a singer will make but you never know. 

Llongyfarchiadau Keith Davies

 Keith Davies has stepped up to the mark and called for a suspension of the Chief Executive. He is one of a number of prominent politicians calling for Mark James to be suspended. The press releases from CCC fail to discriminate between those councillors making strong objections and those agreeing with the council leader's responses. It is extremely confusing and probably upsetting for those councillors who are rapidly distancing themselves from the complete chaos, which appears to have taken hold at CCC. Far from fading out, this storm is set to continue. You can fool some of the people of Carmarthenshire all of the time, and all of the people of Carmarthenshire some of the time, but you can not fool all of the people of Carmarthenshire all of the time.

MADGE CALLS FOR HELP

In the latest twist at Jail Hill Madge calls for Truth And Justice. The calls did not go unheeded as we see our Carmarthenshire Superhero JonoMan come to the rescue.

TAIL WAGS DOG

Whilst it is encouraging to hear that Plaid have had their meeting and called for a vote of no confidence one must remember that every single councillor man to a woman voted and approved the unlawful payments in the first place. For many years now this authority appears to have been operating with the tail wagging the dog. Each councillor has a duty and is paid to represent their electorate not to form little clubs and pursue their political bent. YOU REPRESENT THE PEOPLE. If you can't do that then step aside and allow people who can to do so. Below is the outcome of Plaid's meeting. Could have told them that without a meeting. 

“The serious and damaging findings of the Wales Audit Office reports required swift action.  It is not the job of councillors or the council’s leadership to challenge and undermine the integrity of the independent Audit Office – these reports should be accepted and their recommendations implemented.

WE ARE ALL WRONG

My sincere apologies. It seems that all the people who have read the auditor's report have got it wrong and the facts will be released a month after this terrible mistake. Apparently the facts have been hiding in the knicker drawer of Mrs Jones, no15 Spillman Street.

The Journal was on hand to capture the moment (goodness knows what that reporter was doing there at that time of night) and interview Mrs. Jones (photo) who said "I was going for the fluffy thong see for Mr. Jones oh he does love it, and there beneath the rampant rabbit was the facts. No mistaking it, they were the facts, by there. So I grabbed them and ran down the road to county hall, I have a back door entry there see. So I handed them in and they were relieved. Well one of them was, couldn't manage two not after Mr Jones see. Like a bull he is."

So there we are. We can all sleep soundly (or whatever you do) in our beds and all is well with the weird world of Carmarthenshire. As for that Welsh Auditor Bloke, well he won't work again for sure.

Nos Da Cariads.

Mrs. Jones (who wished to remain anonymous)

FACTS

May I remind the apparently memory challenged folks at Jail Hill of THE FACTS

Assistant auditor general Anthony Barrett said: "Carmarthenshire council has acted unlawfully on two fundamental issues, both of which the public need to be fully aware of.

"The authority has taken decisions and used taxpayers money in areas that they do not have the legal powers to do so."

SO WHAT'S TO DISCUSS JUST GO! 

Is it beyond your intelligence to realise that the people of Carmarthenshire have absolutely no trust in you and no respect for you as being able to lead the council any longer. What don't you understand? 

PUNCH AND JUDY TIME FOLKS

Madge's latest states

"Evidence relating to the two issues is being shared with all county councillors in advance of the matter going before council. This includes advice from QCs and previous communication with the Wales Audit Office." 

AHEM! Am I missing something here? The deed is done. GUILTY M'Lord! Two unlawful acts as judged by the Wales Audit Office. The tone of his protestations is that all will be explained and all is well it is just that he couldn't say anything while they were being investigated.

HOW does that change anything? The judgement is a judgement. THAT is what the public want to get to the bottom of. The statement is surely a joke but we are not in April yet.

The lunatics appear to really have taken over the asylum. Here Madge states "“I hope people can bear with us for just a short time now, I can assure them of a frank, open and honest discussion regarding these issues which I accept have caused public concern.

“I hope that people will not make their minds up about these matters prior to being in full possession of all the facts.”

Surely the point is that apparently nobody trusts you anymore AND the very reason they don't is because of your apparent insistence that you have done nothing wrong and that the facts have apparently been conveniently ignored. How long can this theatre go on before PC Plod comes in and coshes the lot of them with the heavy handed tactics they apparently doled out on Jacqui Thompson for merely filming THE FACTS!