MORNING Mr. President

CROESO I GYMRU Mr. Barack Obama

I am not a celebrity although I once had a letter read out on live TV by Alan Taylor and I stood behind Dewi Bebb and jumped up and down during a sports report on the Wales v England ladies hockey game. I digress. I want to welcome you on behalf of the underpriveliged people of Wales who sadly cannot make it to Newport. Money is of course a major factor but the bus services ave ad terrible cuts lately they ave. Youll feel instantly at ome ere as we are ranked the lowest of the UK countries in literacy and numeracy and we are now cast adrift from England, Scotland and Northern Ireland. Scotland as you know may just do a runner from the U.K. and elect Donald Trump as Prime Minister so the golf course will get an OK. I was opin you would come and visit us to see ow the Welsh really live. It is a sort of mix between Detroit and the Bronx in some places but I will spare them their blushes. They are good people it is just they as been shafted by the councils. Councils are the same as the American Mafia see. Padon my not speakin proper like but as you might know out of 67 countries taking part in literacy and numeracy tests, Wales was ranked 38th for reading, 40th for maths and 30th for the tests for science. We are a bit Moby Dick like. Don’t get me wrong, that is better than last innit. Perhaps you could visit some of the worse schools to see what it is like for those teachers and kids like. Not the teachers fault see, it is down to way too much interference from the people you will be sittin next to in that posh otel. I ere the food is good and there’s a pool an everything. Don't forget to ask em to give the left ovas to a food bank or something equally good for a photo opportunity. Some of the boys say they’ll ave a go at the fence when you’s gone, take it in for scrap like. Got to feed the kids someow innit. 1 in 4 children are in poverty in Wales see. I was opin you’d visit some of those kids like, but the problem is that they are too proud to admit they are in poverty like. Some of em don’t even ave a ouse. There are 9,000 plus homeless families in Wales see. Ow can you get an ouse when you avent got a job innit. Wales as the highest percentage of economically inactive people in the UK. I was opin you’d be donatin some wonga to create some employment in the worse places like but I ere you’ll be buyin arms to kill people in these rogue states. Plenty of rogue estates round ere mind. Well I opes yous enjoys you stay anyway and you must pop in to a local chippy and ave some rissole an chips or faggots. That means something else ere see. Don’t bother goin trapsin round the countryside takin the advice of that Bryn terfil and the other celebs. Get yerself into town on a Saturday and see ow we really live mun. If you can spare some time, do visit some of our hospitals before they close. I would ave asked you to come and unveil a plaque at our local library like, but that as closed too. If you do appen to be down west do come and see me and I can give you the jen on Wales proper like. You won’t need all that flash stuff and security, the people round ere are umble and friendly like. Probably like the people you knew when you was growin up innit. Tara for now.